February 1, 2019.
Today's Gospel comes from Mark 4:26-34
Hey, it's the parable of the Mustard Seed! A favorite....the kingdom of heaven is like the mustard seed.... among the smallest seeds on earth to become the biggest of shrubs where birds can perch.
On a personal note, I had a horrid time with physics in high school because I get panic attacks during quizzes that I would not answer it lucidly and get a zero. I was the laughing stock of the honor's class. It's not that I don't understand physics but there is an emotional and physical revulsion associated with my Physics teacher that even to this date, when I think about him, I feel like punching the wall.
I was trying to emotionally prepare myself that I might not graduate high school and be held back because of Physics.
A friend of mine told me to go to this teacher for help. She did not work for the school I was in. She ran a tiny school with this parable of the mustard seed painted outside her school's walls. I would see that before and after the sessions as I walk back to the main road to wait for a jeepney to take me home. I religiously went to her every Saturday. In a few weeks she made me comfortable with physics and she calibrated her lessons to me in a very visual way.
Physics became fun and accessible to me. She drew and demonstrated with colors and forms. You have to remember that these were the days when "multiple intelligences" were not popular and that if you did not fit in the traditional pedagogy, you were an idiot. (and that physics teacher of mine was nasty and cruel that he would arrange the test papers according to descending level of the scores...imagine the emotional trauma you get when your classmates looking at you and smirking waiting for your name to be called among the last in the heap...and this happened numerous times for me and it is another level of humiliation....I mean I was already being attacked for being soft and effeminate and then I had to deal with this too. So, yeah, this is why I have such lingering hurt and hatred for that teacher).
After a few weeks with her, after a periodical exam, imagine my shock, my teacher's shock, my classmates' shock when my name got called out among the first when he returned our exam results. I was so happy that I rushed to her all giddy and she smiled then asked, "so, do you want to be ready for the UPCAT as well?"
Of course, I did. And several decades later, here I am.
So, yes, mustard seeds became a symbol of reclaiming power for me but also of possibilities as long as I, like in another parable, use my talent(s) well and for something bigger. And this is the gospel to kick-off February, the Philippine National Month for Culture and Arts, too.
PS I just chatted with that friend of mine who brought me to her and he said "she is a good teacher. in fairness pasok tayo sa lahat! (all the college applications that we applied)" And he informed me that this teacher passed away. This saddened me but I am not shocked. In many ways, she showed me how it is to be an effective teacher. God bless you po, ma'am. I love you and thank you.