you know what dawned upon me? The place where I am now lacks the spirit of anticipation. There are no harried crowds avoiding the rush just to be home with their loved ones in time of anticipated joy. There are no vibrant sights to anticipate the new year.
I do not mean to glorify poverty. However, I feel that anticipation is such a big thing for us because we have been witnesses to such horrors and hunger that anticipation is an act of survival. No wonder we have the longest Christmas in the planet. We are eager for hope.
and when hope does not materialize in a way that we did not anticipate, we are still grateful to be alive...so we can anticipate some more. Joy is in the waiting and in the receiving which makes it a ritual for hope for many of us. We have nothing but it is ok, we have laughter.
laughter will not feed us. Worrying won't feed us either. Although I would say pessimism is a survival tactic as well because it wises you up. And yet here we are eager to ring in the new year, to easily divest us of the hurt of 2018 as well as being thankful for its gifts.
ahhh.but the anticipation! Maybe 2019 will be better? Maybe I will be stronger. Maybe I will get better. Maybe I will be healthy. Maybe I will bear the personal losses better. This is why I like Cabaret's "Maybe this time" during New Year's Eve.
The new year is not a new you. it's a new set of maybe's in your life. We all have the lists of resolutions, but I do not do resolutions, I do maybe's...I do hope even though I am a nega star. For 2019, I wish for you, dear friend, a healthy perspective of your maybe's...
and I wish for you the biggest maybe of them all....maybe this time, I will have the strength to follow through and make those maybe's true. What is better than anticipation? It's determination informed by gratitude and hope.
My 2018 was a huge whirlwind and I wish for all of us is to take stock of our anticipations and learn to fly again like the way when we were kids....and enjoy the ride. Happy 2019, dear friends, hug your family, laugh with friends, and give yourself the love you deserve.